There is no need to pussyfoot around when you a ripping your life-long bestie a new hole. I didnt change. Nana your business 3. 12. Because they make up everything 3. 4. Cheese was, 10. Knock knock Whos there Justin Justin who? Youre the reason God created the middle finger. 78. 17. ardiel Apr 13, 2016 @ 9:22am. 83. It can feel scary to tell jokes because there is pressure to make people laugh. Remember, however, that the best insults are not the ones that are intended to offend. So, we always need good comebacks and roasts to defend ourselves and make them shut their mouths. 54. 22. Whats the leading cause of dry skin? This must be why you appear bright until you open your mouth. Im jealous of your stupidity, I wish I can ever be like yours. You're as useless as the 'ueue' in 'queue'. We are a small independent Coffee Roaster open to the public and the trade. "If I had a gun, with 2 bullets, and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice." - Michael Scott, The Office 2. It was liiit 3. "So I'm fat. How Much Does a Wedding Photographer Cost, The Timeless Beauty of Beni Ourain Rugs: Their History and Significance, Best Guide If You Want Vinegar Cleaning Solution, Follow These Easy Tips to Sharpen Scissors, Interior Design Singapore: Get Some Practical Ideas Singapore in 2023, Having Interest in Arms Collection? I'll roast you myself. But as long as you dont take yourself too seriously and just have fun, you cant go wrong. 3. It is by complementing your friends every other time. It is hilarious how you are trying to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence. Igloos it together 9. 50. 4. 73. Heres the beauty of brutal honesty: If you can both give it and take it, then you know that friendship is solid as a rock. #7. When I listen to you, I think you really going to go far. I cant tell if I like my blender or not It keeps giving me mixed results 8. 1. Spoiled milk 9. What did the frustrated cat say? I would smack you, but Im against animal abuse. When u were born ur mum said that u where a treasure! I dont know what makes you so stupid, but it works. What do you call a Frenchman in sandals? Where did Napoleon keep his armies? Then vote for it at the page end. 4. 5. When you are planning on roasting someone, its perfectly acceptable to wing it for a time. 1. If you always get handed the camera for group photos 2. Where do you learn to make a banana split? use the lines and post it in your WhatsApp status. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships. Do you wish to annoy your friends by calling them insulting names? Why was the candle happy? 11. Whats the best way to flirt with a math teacher? Continue with Recommended Cookies, Last Updated on February 12, 2023 by Ketan. 64. You can give the middle finger to social convention because taking the piss out of each other in creative ways is the real test of a good friend. Down for stealing a calendar that's bad luck. Whats the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? hota hai sirf tumhare naam. I have to say youre the best, in every wrong thing. 36. I never have any regrets in my life, except letting you in my life. 16. The world is beautiful! Better, if you deliver them at a perfect time. Im jealous of people who dont know you. If I wanted to hear from an asshole, Id fart. 2. I have a bunch of short guys as friends, just to look taller. You'll think I'm crazy until you should see me with my best friend. With that said, nobody likes a friend who gives a good roast but cannot take one back. With a Luigi board, 7. But with it comes a layer of responsibility. then when the doctor told her it was hers, she cried. Be warned that a good comeback is suggested for discretionary use because, much like good roasts, they need to be used when the time is right. You don't have to be crazy to be my friend. 1. I suggest you do a little soul searching. 48. 9. What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? You can also post it on 13. He neverlands 6. rd.com . Best friends, eat your lunch. Rich white boys: "You can't hit me, my Dad's a lawyer, he'll sue you!" This guy: "You can't hit me, my Dad's a drug lord, he'll behead you!" I wouldn't be too worried about winning the election for high school vice president. Plus, it saves me a few hundred dollars I'd need to spend on winter clothes. What did the buffalo say when his son left? . And the best part of our relationship is the fact that you are no longer in it. My grandfather said my generation relies too much on technology. If you have ever seen or taken part in a roast, then you will see that sometimes, the roastee strikes back. It was on a roll, 4. Youre the reason I cant trust anyone, what a fake friend you are. apne sar pe zor se maro. A brick, 4. Why is it acceptable for you to be an idiot but not for me to point it out? That explains a lot. 5. Why did the M&M go to school? Its a parents job to raise their children right. I'm sorry to bring your mother into this. If youre offended by my opinion, you should hear the ones I keep to myself. CRY YOURSELF A RIVER, BUILD A BRIDGE AND GET OVER IT!!! Do you know the best part about being your friend? In the mainstream 2. Funny Insults and Comebacks for Friends 1. Sneakers 6. An envelope 5. Take this quiz and get a custom report based on your unique personality and goals. Specialized in marketing, with 'communication' as a favorite subject, Ketan P. is a head writer at 'Better Responses'. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. your so dumb if we put you in a competition vs a baby the baby will win, Okay, my fatness can be fixed but your ugliness can't. Make your buddies laugh out loud and lighten the mood. Continue with Recommended Cookies. Your Head Is So Big Jokes. I look up to you only to get to know what I shouldnt do actually. Everything is beautiful! 1. I'm so sorry, it must be tough to get laid with your mother's face. You need humor, a bit of sarcasm, and just fun. If that wasnt enough, roasting someone isnt an easy task. No, no. Ola soy Dora. I am listening. Every day I hope you get your chapstick confused with a glue stick so I can get a bit of peace and quiet. Because he wanted to be a Smartie 2. Hey, you have something on your chin.. no, the 3rd one down. Youre not pretty enough to have such an ugly personality. The only thing you can do with the past is to learn from it, this is the time to shape the future, not the time dwell on the past. Learn how YOU can be better at connecting and turning people into close friends. To receive your $50 SocialSelf coupon, sign up for BetterHelp using the link below. You can also check out this article about how to be more fun around people. You hear that? Don't worry, i'll be there too, not in a cage but laughing at you! 87. Hey, I found your nose, its in my business again! It just takes me a moment to process so much stupid information all at once. 2. 1. 12. I dont hate you, but if you were drowning, I would give you a high five. What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question? 5. It only takes one sentence to throw out good roasts. Everyone has the right to be stupid sometimes, but you are REALLY abusing the privilege. Ian. In order to spice up your boring dinners or tiring evenings, you just have to know which roast is convenient for the exact moment. They are not spoken to cause an argument or any long-term offense. via Giphy. 1. 12. Thus allowing your savage roasts to increase in their intensity. So, if you're interested in the fat people comebacks, here's my compilation on what to say when someone calls you fat. 42. Why the long face, 13. Who keeps the ocean clean? Your friends would be amused.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-box-4','ezslot_4',197,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-box-4-0'); If you like these savage roasts, youll also like this list of really funny comebacks, insults, and burns. You tried hard there, so Im going to give you a participation award. Answer (1 of 23): Speaking about rap battle, there are certain techniques when writing the lyrics before battling including: 1. Why are you rolling your eyes? Know About Warzone 2 & Modern Warfare 2 Season Three: Season Two End Date! 68,887 Views. 86. How to Become Friends With Someone (Fast), 210 Questions to Ask Friends (For All Situations), 23 Tips to Bond With Someone (And Form a Deep Connection), How To Banter (With Examples For Any Situation), 21 Tips To Be More Fun And Less Boring To Be Around, 25 Tips to be Witty (If Youre Not a Quick Thinker), How to be Funny in a Conversation (For Non-Funny People), TIME Magazine, The Chicago Tribune, The Hill, MSN,WebMD, Know where to find people who are more like you. Youll never get out of it alive 5. I'm sorry I offended you with my common sense. You're so fat, you have to use a mattress as a maxi-pad. (18 Replies Other Than Thank You), (9 Clever Answers) When Parents Ask: Where Your Money Went?. the best parts of friendships. Pay attention: Become TUKO.co.ke ambassador - get a branded T-shirt, hoodie or water bottle at our TUKO Shop! If you want more good roast lines and other awesome stuff, check out 35 funny Spongebob roasts, quotes, and jokes.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_6',199,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0'); Im sure youre gonna like these roasting lines because theyre brutal yet witty.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_10',618,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2-0'); These are the most brutal roasts youll ever find. You can also use them with success anywhere else. You can speak english?!? Now I realize why your dad left you and your mom. 1. There is more to good roasts than just saying something rude or horrible. It is better to shut your mouth and make people think you are stupid than open it and remove all doubt. They made an ass out of themselves. Michelle Malm. 1 Best Comebacks for when You're Being Hit on: If a guy pulls the "dream" pickup line, give the comeback, "Really cause this feels like a nightmare." "I'm no proctologist, but I know an asshole when I see one." If a guy asks you where you've been all his life, simply say, "Living mine." Ever meet a guy who's trying to be smooth . You have to truly want to be friends with your ex. 12. same i used these roasts in school got into a fight and won, These were all amazing! 1. The last time I saw something like you I flushed. 2. 9. It just takes me a moment to process so much stupid information all at once. 8. In his sleevies 6. Brains aren't everything. 13. $50 coupon valid for any SocialSelf course. 30. 3. Plus, this page has really mean roast jokes you can tell your friends and co-workers. 75. How do you drown a hipster? "I think we've all got something to bring to this discussion, and from now on I think the thing you should bring is silence.". I would call you an idiot, but it would be an insult for stupid people. Accidents happen; the proof is sitting right there. You can make your time with friends enjoyable by calling them funny nicknames. Too many cheetahs 2. Because they need a better grip 6. Are you always such a bitch or do you just show off when you are around me? Knock knock Whos there? 10. 40. But on the surface, you're just giving a smart reply that makes them look, and possibly feel stupid. You should wear a condom on your head. Unknown. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships. Either way, if you like this. I grew up. 37. I dont have a Lamborghini in my garage 3. Your face is fine but you have to put a bag over that personality. You wouldnt want your roast to fall flat on its face at the first insult, would you? You will be mist. Phillipe Floppe, 7. Too many cheetahs 2. While good roasts certainly sound like angry tirades directed towards a single individual, however, its important that everybody involved understands the deep-seated good intentions of such words. 62. Do you ever wonder why I agree with you on anything? Best Guide For Lucky Patcher: What Is It? The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. 12. Silence is the right answer to a fool. Why don't they play poker in the jungle? Knock knock Whos there Spell Spell who? Best Fat Roasts. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. You are what happens when women drink during pregnancy. By how much he is coffin 3. 2. So this page has all of the latest brutal roasts plus awesome bonus content. You've went down to your little friend's level--the highway. Then we are here to help you. Email the order confirmation to SocialSelf to get your unique coupon code. So you can start with these funny roasts. Don't sound awful. 11. For you, its a therapist. A liar 5. He manages SocialSelfs scientific review board. 71. Its scary to think people like you are allowed to vote. Roasts are, for all intents and purposes, true. To the talking machine; just keep talking. Is part 2 of your argument coming out soon or is that it? 33. 14. When God made you, you must have been on the bottom of his to-do list. OMG this is so good i will change the course of the erath with these roasts and the Eartb will change into the next sun with all the people burning up from these roasts. A Toast to My Best Friend Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it but only you can feel it. 5. To which the girlfriend replied, "That's not very much at all!" A couple is on a date at a fancy restaurant. 4. I have an inferiority complex, but its not a very good one 9. Forgive yourself and focus on what's ahead, the past is what it is. In case he got a hole-in-one 2. But yours not even in your body. I thought you only spoke trash. Pick one of these 61 most savage roasts as your favorite and use it when necessary. Our foods, snacks and treats are from local purveyors and delivered fresh each day. Can you give me a break for the next fifty years? You say something positive and I won the lottery. Source: gotlines.com. 19. 3. Now, I am a kind boy, yo face though brought nobody joy 1 4. Comeback : Bitch, I'm straighter than the pole your mother danced on last night. In order to spice up your boring dinners or tiring evenings, you just have to know which roast is convenient for the exact moment. 89. Why do mushrooms get invited to every party? 11. Looking at you reminded me to take my contraception. Bad idea in your case. If your brain was dynamite, there wouldnt be enough to blow your hat off. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. Use the following comebacks when you feel the time is right, to ensure you leave the roast with more than just emotional scars and crippling self-doubt. 63. I told them, Just you wait! 14. If you want to make your friends smile and possibly roll their eyes, then these silly jokes are sure to do the trick. If you don't like me, take a map, get a car, drive to hell. 4. Your face got crushed--was anyone else hurt in the accident? Discover short videos related to roasts to say to your friend on TikTok. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. If I ever compare you with the stupidest person, he feels roasted. Genius peoples brains are stored somewhere. Can you help me find where we asked? But youve no one to take care of you. I agree that we become more like we hang out with others. There's always tomorrow. Rule No.. 79. Someday, you might say something intelligent. Because youre crazy and people call me stupid if I argue with you. A T-Rex told his girlfriend, "I love you this much," as he stretched out his arms. There is someone out there for everyone. Stupid jokes are a different kind of funny. I admit that I have the worst taste, as I chose you as my friend. Probably a bit of Nagasaki or Hiroshima in there as well. Everything is changing, but not you, my friend. What Is The Scariest Thing In The World In 2023? Some people have great friends. 8. What did the DNA say to the other DNA? I am using almost all of these roasts in a rap!!!! You always bring me so much joy, as soon as you leave the room. Its two-tired 15. When I look at you, I think to myself where have you been my whole life? You may also enjoy a bonus video below about the celebrity roasters. I thought of you today. 21. Its not that I dont listen to you when you talk. They always give a spot to the autistic kid. 6. Notify me when someone responds to my comment. I only thought you talk behind my back! No, no. Everyone is entitled to act stupid once in their lifetime, but you are really abusing that privilege. Watch popular content from the following creators: Princek33m_(@_skywalkerk33m_), Tyler Worsley(@tylerworsley), Vin(@vincentm542), Coconut comebacks! What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? 2. Why cant you trust atoms? A 50 Cent concert featuring Nickelback 5. Some people should use a glue stick instead of chapstick. Why cant you just stop sometimes, no one is listening to you. No response is best response. Getting down and dirty with your hoes, Take this quiz and see how you can make new friends. That is where most accidents happen. If youre going to be a smart ass, first you have to be smart, otherwise youre just an ass. It ain't over till the fat lady sings. Don't be ashamed of who you are-that's your parents' job. With a chair. Could you just stop embarrassing ourselves, too? RIP to boiling water. Im not saying youre ugly, but the reason nobody wants to sleep with you is that they dont want to be prosecuted for animal abuse. I'm sorry for bothering you. What is wrong with you? 70. Pink Guy, get back in your suit! Yes, Im fully vaccinated, but I will still not hang out with you. The best part about a good witty comeback is that you don't have to be mean or aggressive to get a one-up on a bully. What do you get from a pampered cow? I want them to be proud of me! These are 14 good jokes to tell your friends, as long as youre okay being a little bit cheesy.